Details In The Fabric

♥ .. Monday, October 05, 2009

The Page That You Are Looking For Does Not Exist

This chapter has closed.

And I have moved.

Throw me a cheese cake, drop me a line, a smoke signal, ~~a fart~~, a holler or whatever if you would like to find my new place.

Cheerios potatoes!

♥ .. Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Here I Go Again

Maybe if my heart stops beating
It won't hurt this much
And never will I have to answer again to anyone

Please don't get me wrong

Because
I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't wanna be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you

One day
You'll get sick of saying that everything's alright
And by then
I'm sure I'll be pretending
Just like I am tonight

Please don't get me wrong

Because
I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't wanna be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you

Paramore "Let This Go"

♥ .. Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Midwest Skies And Sleepless Mondays

[Currently listening to: The Perishers - Never Bloom Again]

Lightning struck
Now it's silent and dark
I'd like to try to light a candle
But for that I'd need a spark

Our luck changed
Don't know why, don't know when
But it changed
And now it's hard not to dwell on memories

I know we'll grow
But we'll never bloom again
I'm sure we'll grow
But we'll never bloom again

For the most part of it I've always felt some sort of guilt or wrong doing on my part, as though it was always probably some bad fault of mine. And from then on out it's always been questions of what, why, how.. the other reason besides reminiscing that keeps me up at night. Riddling questions and lingering thoughts are horrible for most of the time because it leaves you to uncertainty and a long road down to the mental torture of "not knowing".. which probably leads to another questioning thought - what if. And while some times it's better not knowing, or it's better to not seek out the answers to your questions, I guess I for one am for knowing.

There have been some people who've said that when a relationship fails or falters, it feels as though they've failed and I can understand that from a personal perspective. I guess to an extent, I've always knew that relationships have to be worked at but as we all know it, knowing and doing are two very different things. I also realise that human error allows for mistakes and sometimes we fail at knowing.. or doing.. or both. But I also realise that acknowledging mistakes and acceptance can be easier said that done.

Change is going to come. I know it. But for now, I'm like at the tip of an aircraft's propeller engine. And I know I'm going to have to go through the blades and get shredded, but maybe it is only then I can get blown away by the winds of change. I know it's probably going to hurt a whole lot more and that I'm also probably going to lose more tears but I guess that's what it takes to get through to the other side. I've just got to get through it.. and I'll be fine. I'll be fine.. I'll be fine..

Ps. I realise that my blog contents seem to sorta paint a picture as if I've just broken up with someone but no, it's not. I guess it's about unrequited love, however do keep in mind that love exists on many different levels so yeah.

Now it's cold on my side of the bed
Though you're near, you're far away
Partly here, partly gone

Our luck changed
I don't know why, don't know when
I wonder where we would end up
If we could start again

I know we'll grow
But we'll never bloom again
I'm sure we'll grow
But we'll never bloom again

The Perishers "Never Bloom Again"